Here are some thoughts I have on phd-ing.

Good Sides

It is nice to travel and to go to conferences. It is nice to meet other scholars that are also working in your field and you can learn something new or have an exchange. In fact, one of my dream jobs would be attending conferences. Not as somebody on the panel, just as somebody who listens. I also do not want to write about it. But my most favourite job would be going to parties. I could also combine this: conferences at day time, parties at night. But not the same parties that are part of the conferences because I must admit I have been to more entertaining events.

You also learn something in the process. Stuff like. HEY! I can attract an audience by putting the word “love” in the title of my presentation and people are even standing in the back of the conference room because there are no free seats available anymore. Or HEY! I can do this talk in front of this people without vomiting. Or HEY! I have discipline even if I thought Steiner school and upbringing would make this impossible. Or HEY! I am not stupid, somebody said it- just there. YAY!
Also you might learn that you have friends who care for you when you need them.

The pros of doing a PhD are that you can travel to many places for conferences and you can decide when you get up in the morning and when you want to stop working.

Bad Sides

Even though I was raised to do everything by myself independently and take responsibilities for my own actions it is difficult to (first) stand up for your self. Second, remember that you are not stupid, Third, remember that you are not a genius either. And work work work.

Also you will miss out on a lot of rave parties because instead it is research time. As a substitute you can go to other events that make you get smarter or make you meet people that might be interested in what you are doing. There are also parties with other PhD students, some of them are very nice. However, some of the other PhD students practice their lecturing skills on you. Like that you can listen and learn for hours about a subject that you might not find interesting … at all.

On new years I was dancing to some electronic beats from musicians of my home country and some time in the morning I though “Why did I waste the best dancing years of my life?” This was not the first time I was thinking stuff like that and if you are a hedonist like me it might be hard to justify your choice of education continuation to yourself.

Since I spend so much time at the university I realize that these uni-people really have no sense of humour. I always suspected this when I was studying in Berlin but I never spent enough time in the physical location or with the people who work there to actually understand how little sense of humour is going on there. For me that is really challenging as my sarcasm is often misunderstood and people are shocked about my statements. Mostly this leads to very awkward situations.

When you write your PhD you go through a lot of insecurities and pain. Did I cheat my self into the program? When will they figure that out? Did anybody realize yet that I am really good in writing proposals and abstracts but then it is such a challenge to do the other stuff? Why are the others always asking me how many pages I have written so far? Why is the guy in the other office always commenting on my arrival and departure times at work? What is that creepy old man doing in my office again? Will I ever finish? Will I pass? The others (non-PhD students) have so much fun right now and I am missing out on everything.

For the extra fun of it I chose some extra challenges to make it more difficult. First, I moved to a new country that is not exactly known for its sunny weather and hospitable people. Second, the country I moved to had no Bikram studio in the beginning. Third, the country I moved to has difficulties grasping the concept of a vegetarian or vegan diet. Hooray for waling! Fourth, there is no good clubs here to dance of the tension. All four things are not recommendable if you want to have a good life.